The jolly life of Jill
by Sunny Day in February
Summary: The girls of Mineral Town are all very unique and they all like another guy... but there's one thing they all agree at: that blonde new girl ain't gonna get their men! Or IS she? Will Jill survive their fury? And is her hair really dyed? You'll see...
1. When Cliff met Jill

A/n: So… I was thinking like, hey, let's try to get started with a new HM story! And here it is! You know, it would be grant (pha, posh-talkin'!) if you would take a couple of minutes of your life to read this. Try it! I'm sure it'll leave a smile upon your faces…

Enjoy!

* * *

_Cliff:_

I KNEW there was something going on, you know? I just felt it! My nose inched, and when my nose inches, something is going to happen!

So I scratched my nose (very thoughtfully, of course), before entering the church, where Carter was. Practicing one of his boring sermons again.

Hell, I totally knew everything about those stories he always told me (some were weird ones, like the tale about a dad who told his son his wife, who passed away, was sleeping VERY deeply. It killed me.), or about his wacky fairytales (a la Snowwhite)… but I never wanted to hurt him by saying 'Go to hell with yer stories, you lousy priest of nothing! Go pray or something!'

Yeah. So most of the time, I listened patiently. Though he DID annoy me like my sister always did. Maybe that's why I always listened? Who knows. It's complicated, I guess.

Anyway, I felt something was in the air. And I wanted to know what. Even Carter acted a bit strange. Well, he always did. But not as strange as he did now. So I walked towards him.

'…um…Carter? What's going on in town?' I asked him, fiddling on my shirt. Or whatever it was.

He twirled around (twirled around! For crying out loud! He twirled!), facing me with this mysterious smile of his.

'Ah, Cliff…So the news has reached you too? How delightful!'

'…well, not exactly. I heard people gossiping in the streets, MORE than they normally do, and everybody is acting a bit…exited or something! Do you know what that's all about?'

Of course he knew. Carter knew more than the whole town! I think he's the chairman of the chatting group of Manna, Anna and Sasha. Their leader. Ugh, don't want to think about it.

'Why yes, Cliff, I know. It's about this girl.' Cater calmly explained, polishing some ballpoints. Why did he polish ballpoints? Why the hell did he HAVE ballpoints? I decided to stop thinking about it. I think too much.

'Which girl?' I frowned, 'Popuri? Karen? Elli? Mary? Or maybe Ann?'

Ann was cute. She had really nice eyes…and her smile reminded me of my little sister. I wonder where she was. My sister, not Ann.

Carter smiled dreamily. 'A beautiful, young blonde girl from the city has moved recently to this peaceful town. She was tired of the dull life she leaded, and traveled this way to live her life further…'

…he really had to stop reading romantic novels. It scared me to death when he talked like this. Ugh.

But anyway, there was a new girl in town? Big deal. Like it's the most exiting thing what ever happened to this armpit called Mineral Town. When I arrived here, nobody really was exiting. Except for Ann. She's so nice.

It wasn't my business. I had my troubles, all right? Getting exited because a new girl had arrived was the last thing I should be doing! I better try to figure out how to make money. And fast.

'Thanks for the information, Carter. Well, I'm heading back to Doug's Inn again! Ann's cooking today, so…' I muttered, while walking away from him.

'Ah, the beautiful Ann. Your feelings for her are as clear as the full moon…' he smiled again, even more dreamily.

I…decided not to answer. I wanted to get the hell out of this place.

Hey, I didn't wanted to see Ann or something!...I was just hungry!

_Jill:_

Well, let's explore the town, I said to myself this morning, and I got out!

This would be…um…the second day of my new life on Sprite Farm. Yep.

Yesterday, I had cleaned up the barn and stuff. There were also many weeds, and a lot of branches which had to move over. I hate weeds and branches. That's why I had to get rid of them fast!

So I took care of all the mess. Wasn't easy, but I think I did a good job. Cha-Cha, my little doggy (indeed, just like the dance!), happily ran around in my new, neat environment, and I collected some fruits and herbs and honey: who would guess there are so many great things growing in the wild!

I didn't!

Mayor Thomas (a real meanie/look-alike of Super Mario) laughed me in the face when I arrived. Thought I wouldn't stay too long. Hah! Though luck, tubby guy! I would produce the best farm of all! Just wait!

…but first, let's make some friends here. According to the rumors, there lived many handsome bachelors in Mineral Town. Good for me!

I put on my backpack (so little space in the backpack, lousy thing!), before I left my new home and hit the road. Not literally.

Wow, what a nice and sunny day! Yay! I felt so happy and jolly, I almost started skipping! But since I'm such a lazy, yet good-looking girl, I decided to walk normal! Yay, normal!

Good…where to start…you know what, let's say hi to the priest first! Always a good start in a new life. And handy too. You never know when you might need a priest… They said Mineral Town was a bit weird, so maybe I could become possessed by a devil here, or a demon, or maybe even Sailor Moon! Just imagine! _Usagi, begone…_

See? Churches are like, totally handy!

So I headed to the church! I sure did! And man, was I happy! If my friends back home could see me, they all would be like, 'OMG LOL LMAO LOLRPTFWMP Jill is HAPPYZZZ!' Yeah. Never mind that, though.

Suddenly, my eyes caught a guy. A brownish-guy. Which means, a very brown-dressed guy. Not so bad…not so bad at all! But he seemed a bit depressed… and I didn't like depressing guys so much. They are…depressing, you know.

But I could become friends with him! Yeah, why not? I could use some nice friends, who couldn't! Go for it, Jill! I waited until the boy (who seemed to be lost in his own deep thoughts) was about to pass me by, when I opened my mouth.

'Hi!' I shrieked happily, almost giving the poor guy a heart attack. 'Waah!' he stammered, jumping up like a frightened cat, staring like me as if I was Medusa or Ursula or some other creepy witch.

'…um… Hi!' I tittered again, as if nothing freaky had happened, and stretched out my arm, 'I'm Jill! I'm looking for some nice friends, and since they're not coming to me…I'll have to stalk you guys to death! Naah, just kidding. I'm out to meet some human-beings, I guess... Anyway, who are you?'

He first glared at me, like 'OMG-you-are-a-total-maniac', but the longer he watched me, the more he began to blush and smile.

'….h-hi, Jill…' he finally stammered, standing up on his feet again, '…I'm Cliff. And brown. I'm a brown cliff. Um, Cliff-brown. No, just…just Cliff! But I like brown. A lot.'

'You sure do!' I grinned politely, and rubbed over my lower arm. '…so, um… what's up, Cliff!'

He didn't answer me. He just stood there, staring at me and blushing and trying to be all TOUGH GUY! –like… so I felt a bit uneasy here. I blinked a few times with my eyes. '…listen, um… I've got to go and say hi to the other people in town, okay?'

'…sure, sure!' he nodded immediately, starting to stare at the ground for a change, before looking up again: '…I'll see you around then, okay?'

'Oh, I bet you'll do!' I smiled back. I mean, he was very kind, I would love to meet him again!

…but you know, I don't… like guys so much who are not so…self-confident. It's a bit odd. But he was good enough to become a friend, I suppose! Yay!

'Bye Cliff!' I sang, before walking further. '…yeah, bye… Jill…' He mumbled softly. I really thought he said it like 'Jilllllllllllll….lllllllll….'

But I could be wrong.

* * *

A/n: That's it for now! Please tell me what you thought about it! I really hope you liked it! Bye now! 


	2. The Force and the beach

A/n: I'm glad most of you liked it so far. And 1angelette, I'm sorry I made Cliff not shy enough… oh yeah, and that my grammar isn't such a blast. Can't help it. ;-)

Hope you'll keep on reading, though!

* * *

_Ann:_

Everything seemed to be good. I was swiping the floor with an odd broom, and dad was goofing off behind the bar. Not so many costumers today. And THEN it HAPPENED!

Dad poked me when HE came inside.

'Ann…HE came inside!' he hissed, mysteriously having the same sentence as me in mind, and grinned broadly, '…quick! Rush to his side and confess your eternal love for him!'

Although I DID think it was a bit scary when my father changed from a greedy moneymaker into a mustache–wearing Cupid, he had a point there: I was daydreaming all day long over Cliff… why not just saying I'm crazy in love with the guy! To Cliff himself, I mean!

Cliff! My love! My sweet, brown, shy, depressed-eyeing man with the noble smile of a million Romeo's while they're being all poet-like to Juliet! Oh, I adore you so much! Can't you see I'm drooling all over you? You're so DANG handsome! I'm over the bright MOON for you, my handsome prince!

I stood up sternly, giving a nod to my dad ('I'm going to say it…'), who slowly nodded back to me ('You have the Force, Ann-chan…').

ALRIGHT! No way back now!

I gave him my slimiest smile when he walked in. '…hey, Cliff! How's it going?...'

Usually, he would get red cheeks and mutter something like '…hi Ann. I'm fine, thanks…', before crawling upstairs, to his room.

(…but, in my wildest dreams, he would grin SENSUALLY, saying: 'Hi Ann, baby! Let's go and make out in the warmth of the lamps on my room! Don't mention Grey, I'll chuck him out right away!')

But, much of my disapproval…

…he didn't say ANYTHING to me! He was BLUSHING like HELL, and he couldn't blush because of me, he was already blushing before he took the time to eventually LOOK at me!...

Waah! No good! No good!

'…Cliff? Are you alright?' I asked him, while hoping he had just a deadly high fever and not a crush on another, probably stunning blonde girl, '…you're having such a red face!'

'..no no, I'm okay, Jill… Um, Ann, I mean…' he muttered sheepishly, and slowly walked, no, FLOATED to the stairs. I could almost feel my jaw drop. JILL? JILL?! WHO THE HELL WAS JILL! I AIN'T A JILL, BRO!

I felt my heart pounding madly. Oh no, he had a crush on a girl named Jill! And I though all girls named Jill were dead-ugly! Maybe this Jill WAS ugly from the outside, but HE thought she was gorgeous on the inside! Like, Jill from the outside, Elli from the inside! Maybe the Jill-girl WAS Elli, dressed like a real Jill-slut! But Elli wasn't a slut! If she WAS, she had jumped Doctor Tim like, a thousand times!... and HE wasn't Cliff! Although he looked rather sharp too! So maybe he…ugh… never mind…

…I felt a headache coming up. A huge one. Couldn't understand why.

Cliff was, in the meantime, climbing the stairs already.

No! Wait! My feelings! Destiny! Had to say it to him! RHAAH!

…but it was too late. Cliff had disappeared upstairs (he didn't even wanted to eat, although I was cooking today!)and I swore I heard him sight dreamily before entering his small room. Ugh… life can be so cruel! I gazed upstairs helplessly, and didn't hear Duke coming in.

'Ann? Are you alright?' my dad asked me slowly, putting a hand on my shoulder. My dad was the best dad of all dad's in the world!... I nodded again, thankful for his kindness: 'Yes daddy. I'm…'

'GOOD! Now, stop staring at the stairs like a bloody moron and fetch something to drink for that ready-to-get-drunk bloke Duke! Now!' dad commanded me firmly, without letting me end my sentence.

I pouted a bit, but decently did what I was asked and went to that stinking Duke. I didn't know WHO that Jill was, but she was going to PAY for the fact she flirted with MY Cliff!

I grinned evilly: 'RIGHT ON!'

'ANN!'

'Sorry dad.'

* * *

_Kai:_

Hell, SURE I knew it was only Spring in Mineral Town! And yes, it was indeed a bit cold on Mineral Beach! Good Lord and all his angles in the sky, I was freezing to death here!

…but hey, when a fancy girl with sugar-cottoned hair (yes, talking about Popuri!) asked a simple, easy-going and SO FREAKING HOT-LOOKING man like me to stay in Mineral Town for a year, because she didn't want to wait for me until Summer… he said YES!

City life had become a big bummer anyway, and I was very much infatuated with my good-looking friend Popuri! …okay, and also a bit attracted to her other friends, like that sexy Karen, sweet Elli, shy Mary, and funny Ann…

But seriously, my heart REALLY belonged to Popuri. Yup! Had to love the pink hair. Pink seemed to be another kind of… purple… and purple was my favorite color. Yeah…

Pink and purple, together forever and ever…

…until I got fed up with her and ditched her to have a fling with the girlfriend of her crazy bro Rick.

…or I took a hike with that super smart and gentle girl, Mary.

…or I hit the road, together with the kind nurse, Elli, of Mineral town.

…or I decided to have some fun with that redhead Ann.

But really, I was crazy about Popuri. Really. Don't give me that look now.

Anyway, Popuri and I were sitting on the beach. It was a nice day, and although it was cold, I would like to dive into the sea and swim around a bit to impress Popuri (or any other girl that could show up!)… But Popuri told me to behave. Too bad…

She suddenly tugged a bit on my short sleeves. 'Say it!'

'I love pineapples!' I chirped, out of the blue. But I meant it. Pineapples are yummy.

'Nooo, not that!' Popuri giggled playfully, giving me a soft push, '…you know what I mean! Come on, say it!' I chuckled a bit, and moved closer to her. '…I like you very much, Popuri Poppet…'

She immediately started to giggle and blush, and nervously played with her curly hair. She couldn't stop staring at me like a lovesick puppy. And I liked it! It was cute! Popuri just WAS cute! As the youngest girl in Town (except for May, but May doesn't count), she definitely was the cutest girl of all.

…but I didn't have the slightest idea why she thought it was flattering when I called her… Popuri Poppet. It was wacko! Popuri Poppet? Any other girl would have killed me for sure if I had the nerve to give her a pet name like that!

'Kai, did you know there's a new girl in Mineral Town?' she asked me softly, cuddling closer to me, as if she thought I would have run off when she hadn't done that.

BOY, did she know me well!

'A new girl?' I frowned, scratching my head, '…since when do you know?'

'Since yesterday! Mayor Thomas said it to mom when he was visiting us yesterday, and I was pretty much close by, so I heard, like, EVERYTHING! She seems to be a blonde girl from the city…' Popuri sounded like she was gossiping. She most of the time actually DID gossip about everybody… but in a cute way. Nobody could become mad at her, really.

Whoa, hold the phone, people!

A BLONDE girl?

From the CITY?

_Ding dong!_ Prize! I love blonde women! I dig them almost as much as I dig…myself! And BOY, do I dig myself! And she was from the city! She wasn't such a (forgive me, ladies of Mineral Town), hillbilly as most of them here! She KNEW, for Goddess Sake, what CARS were!!

…although she was a woman. Women don't like cars. I do. I like women too, by the way. In case you hadn't notice.

Popuri saw me grinning, and she got an adorable little angry face. '…you're NOT going after her, UNDERSTAND! You're MY boyfriend! I don't want you to ditch me for a blonde whore from the big city!'

Was she cute or WHAT!

'Oh, don't you worry, Popuri Poppet,' I said, totally not-convincing, '...I'll be a good boy. Besides, there aren't many women who are more beautiful than you are! I love hanging around with you!'

Well, that was true. Popuri was one gorgeous lady, folks. Karen was also very pretty, just like Mary, Ann and Elli, but Popuri? She's got the first prize. And that's… me!

Aw, I bet she was totally happy with that! Lucky girl she was!

And right on that moment, we heard a cheerful yell.

* * *

A/n: ...and with that, I end chapter two. Liked it? Let me know! 


	3. Popuri Power!

A/n: Hey again! Sorry that it took quite some time: y'know, school and stuff… Totally hate it! .

I know all the characters are pretty OOC. But keep in mind my story is a parody of MFOMT (which I haven't mentioned before: there were only two genres to choose, see?)

Anyway, enjoy chappie 3!

* * *

_Jill:_

Well, the priest, named Carter, was pretty kind. I had to admit that.

But I've never run away from a church SO FAST as I just did! God, that guy was crazy! Talking about weird families and fairytales…and in such a gloomy and stoned way! Living in a church sure isn't good for your (mental) health!

So I went to the beach of Mineral Town, which was originally called…Mineral Beach. Just what are the odds! Ha!

I always had loved the beach. When I still was living in the city, my friends and I once in a while would go to the beach, to get extremely burned by the sun, and to make a few sandcastles, and we gain, of course, very dead and filthy hair afterwards!

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE DEADLY COMBINATION SEA AND SUNSHINE! YEAH! FLOWERS EVERYWHERE!

Luckily enough, the beach wasn't that far away from the church. So in a skip and a hop, I was standing on the top of the sandy hill/dune, looking at the beautiful ocean, with all its…water.

It was breathtaking! Absolutely! If I had Asthma, I probably would be very death by now. And that would be a huge pity. Yup.

Hey, there were other people from my age down there! Close to the shore! Two! A guy and a girl! Male and female! Yin and Yang! Bacon and eggs! Another chance for Jill! Yes!

I mean, sure, Cliff was nice…but he gazed a bit too long at my breasts to be sure he really did like my _inside_ just as much as my _outside_. That was too bad… and that madman Carter? Ugh, just keep quiet about that loon! Whew! What a jackass!

But these young people seemed to be…pretty much normal. Although the girl DID have pink hair. But never mind that…

'Hey there!' I greeted my kind of humans, and ran off the hill, '…how are you doing! Is the sea nice today?'

They both turned around, looking a wee bit disturbed and surprised. Oh! Oh… I guess, the two of them were a couple. Yeah…I could see now why the pink-haired girl glared so dangerously at me.

I slowed down when I came near the lovebirds. Stay aware of danger, Jill… Just in case the girl would throw a whale or something to me. '…so… um… My name's Jill! I'm the new farmer! You know, from Sprite Farm? Tadaah! _C'est moi!_' I smiled friendly.

The girl stared at me with this blank look on her face (like 'I really don't give a damn, as long as you get the hell out of my sight!'), but her boyfriend began to smile a very disturbing big smile, before getting up from the sand.

'Hiya, Blonde Babe! The name's Kai! I'm also from the city! Nice to meet a nice chick… I mean… um… respectable woman like you! Wanna see my muscles?!' the guy with the bandana grinned childish, rolling his already short sleeves even farther up.

I smiled. 'Naah, thanks.' Then I focused my attention on the pink lady next to him. 'Hi! So… um… what's your name, if I may ask?...'

'I won't tell you!' she shrieked angrily, folding her arms like a mad little kid. 'Then I will!' Kai helpfully added, '…she's Popuri! My girlfr…I mean, a very good… no, a… friend of my! Yes!'

Popuri stared at her friend with big, hurt eyes. 'KAI! How can you say that! We've been dating for MONTHS!! Meanie!!'

'…true. But I only meet her in Summer, I swear!' Kai stammered, clutching my hand dramatically between his, and apologizing more to ME than to his girlfriend, who was obviously getting eviler by the moment we spoke.

She stood up, with a face that was about to explode from pure fury and special effects. 'You! Blonde girl!' Popuri snapped, poking a finger in my arm,'…Stay out of my way! And stay out of Kai's way! And stay out of the beach! JUST STAY OUT! You…blonde, Muffy-like… FLIRT!'

OH! Me, a FLIRT!

'What? But I… I'm no flirt!' I said, '…I'm just trying to get some friends! I can't help it I'm looking so damn pretty and intelligent and nice! It's my parents fault! Or those dudes from Natsume's!'

'Oh yeah? OH YEAH?! Just… just eat FISHBALLS AND DIE, SISTER! GROWL!' Popuri yelled, before grabbing Kai by his shirt ('What? What did I do!') and jerking him away with her.

They both disappeared in a tiny restaurant (I thought it was) by the (sort of) harbor from Mineral Beach. I could see Popuri stick her tongue out towards me, before slamming incredibly hard with the door. What a mean little brat!

And so jealous! She can keep her Kai!

He was very nice, but also a TOTAL gigolo. A Womanizer. A playboy, toyboy, beachboy or gameboy, but anyway, he wasn't the kind of guy I was looking for! Not that I say I'm looking for a warm-hearted boyfriend… no, of course not!

…but Popuri wasn't going to be a female friend of my. Nope. I felt sorry for that…

…ugh, making friends in this town was more difficult than I expected…

* * *

_Popuri:_

What a major slut! What a whore! What a… a… MANEATER!

'…are you okay, Popuri? I mean, your hair looks like it's going to get on fire! Relax, Poppet!' I heard Kai saying, while he protectively patted on my head. I pushed his hand away.

'Quiet!' I hissed, and peeked through the dirty windows of Kai's Shack. Good, the blonde bimbo took a hike! Yeah, just keep on walking, you… you stranger! Don't come close to my Kai again, or I'll… I'll… DO SOMETHING REALLY NOT-CUTE!

'Okay, she's gone!' I finally sighted relieved, and shot a glare towards Kai. He was hugging a pineapple, but got a red face when he saw me watching him. '…what! I missed them!' he pouted immediately, hiding the fruit behind his back.

Wasn't that pineapple that fake one, I gave to him on his birthday, last year? Aw, I couldn't remember. I didn't care anyway. 'Hey, why were you flirting with that Jill-person!' I snarled at him.

Kai frowned. '…um…common sense? Instinct? Loverboy-looks and image around these parts? I have to defend my position in this town, baby! Flirting is one of the tools I use to make a woman's heart melt!'

I gritted my teeth (ouch! And it HURT!) furiously. 'Oh yeah? Well… I don't like it! Stop it! Right away!'

'Okay.' He easily said.

I punched him. 'YOU LIAR!'

'True.'

'Ugh! Of ALL the handsome guys in town, I had to fall in love with YOU! Just MY luck! I must be VERY NAÏVE to fall for a bandana-wearing, pineapple-loving, Rick-pestering, Elli/Mary/Ann/Karen/Jill-admiring, life-loving dude like you!' I preached more than I said, walking around in the tiny house like a murderer who had peed his pants.

Kai folded his arms behind his head. 'Yeah, I guess it's all sort of you fault.'

What the…! 'I DIDN'T SAY THAT! And it ISN'T!'

'…no, think about it!' he continued, avoiding my fake nails which wanted to RAPE…no, RIP him apart, '…just what made you not fall for… um… let's say…ah, for RICK, for example!'

'…well, he's my brother.' I dryly remarked, '…and he wears glasses.'

'…you're so shallow.'

'…and you're a sickko who thinks I would date my own bro.'

'…hm, I suppose that's weird, yeah.' Kai nodded, and went on: '…and what do you think about… Cliff!'

'He's too sad. And too cranky. Always moping around about his stupid family back home, always complaining about the weather, and about his life without a job, and about my shrill laughter…naah. No fun. Jill may have him.' I honestly said.

'Okay, and Grey? What do you think about him? Couldn't you get a crush on him?'

'Nope. He's mean. And also cranky. His eyes are very nice and blue and he's so cute when he's acting so shy and stuff, but that's about it…'

'Therefore more, he loves BOOKS!' Kai shivered, '…and the doctor? I mean, he's…'

'Ugh, get OUT of HERE!' I almost yelled, '…he's WAY too old for a girl like me! He must be, like, close to his thirties! He's too serious too! He never goes out! …but in a certain way…he's VERY sexy! Maybe even more sexy than YOU!'

Kai and I exchanged glares.

'Naah, can't do!' we then said, and started to giggle and laugh.

'…I just like to be with you, Kai…' I softly said when we stopped laughing. He smiled, and gave me a wink. '…which girl wouldn't?'

…well, that wasn't a good answer, was it?

Anyway…

…yeah, Kai was one big hunk of a guy. But I wondered…if he would be save when Jill was around, alive and kicking…or if SHE would be save then, heheh!

…in fact, she WOULD. I would KILL him otherwise.

Let's see if the other girls thought about Jill on the same way I did…

* * *

A/n: Well, so long for chapter 3! Sure hope you liked it! 


	4. Rick & Karen

**A/n: Man, this story is hanging around the place for at least a couple of years, LOL! So don't expect me to update more after this chappie: I just don't feel like it anymore. Well, I DO still adore HM with a passion (ToT knocks my blocks), but HM: MFoMT is getting a bit old…**

**Anyway, read it, when you feel like it.**

**~ Sunny**

_Rick:_

'Just what are you planning to do, Rick?' Karen asked me, when she saw me stamping out of my house like a very good-looking bulldozer. I looked at her and saw her face finally had her normal hue back.

Thank Goddess she wasn't tipsy from yesterday anymore! She had sung about me and about my butt! Can you imagine? Karen, THE Karen, the wonderful, GORGEOUS Karen, singing aloud how wonderful she thought my butt was! While standing on Doug's bar, shaking her hips!

…she was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot.

But anyway, I know I'm pretty. But hey, not everybody had to know the beauty of my lower back! I didn't even realize SHE thought it was that nice! It was a big compliment, it sure was! My butt and I felt honored!

…until the whole Inn laughed me in the face after she was gone. And this morning, I saw Popuri walking, her butt shaking like a rattlesnake his tail would shake: 'Hey, Rick! Shake that bootie, bootie, uh huh!'

Gah! Even my own little sister made fun of it! Didn't anyone agree on Karen?!

'Hey Karen! Glad you aren't drunk anymore!' I greeted her, and walked away from her in a few quick steps. Of course she came after me. '…let me guess. You are going to beat up Kai for hanging around with Popuri again, aren't you?' she asked.

'You're so smart when you're sober.' I muttered sarcastically. _Bull's eye!_

'…aw, come on!' she laughed, '…I meant it, really! I do think your butt is nice! It's in good shape! I would never lie about that!'

'…but you were DRUNK! They made fun of me! Popuri and mom laughed at me, just like they all did!' I stammered.

Karen spun around for no particular reason and smiled flirty towards me. 'Aw, silly Rick! The townspeople always make fun of you!'

…well, that really made me feel better. But instead of getting angry, I began to walk even faster than I already did, trying to ignore Karen's wonderful human-being (read: great body). I heard her singing behind me ('Have you met this butt, this fabulous butt, this really really really really nice-looking butt…'), and swallowed a bit.

…yeah, I guess I was a bit in love with her. But don't go tell everybody! They wouldn't believe me, because they'd say she's too pretty for me.

NONSENSE! I'm a GOD! I've got the body of Hercules, the brains of Einstein, the smile of Hugh Grant, a big bed (HAH!! And I didn't had to buy other stuff for it!), and loads of chicks around me!

…yes, chickens. So what, chicks are chicks!

'If you really want to know it, I'm not only going to beat up that hair-hiding guy Kai, but… I'm also looking for Catherine!' I finally explained my soon-to-be wife, and sighted deeply (and very handsome-like). Why, I almost was like a male Princess Di!

Karen stopped singing and a jealous glare appeared on her beautiful face. She suddenly started waving her arms hysterically. 'WTF! Who's Catherine! Someone I know?! Someone Popuri knows?! How old is she! What job has she got! Favorite color! Does she dye her hair?! Is she already married?! With YOU?! Is she having your baby?! The THIRD one? Does she live in Ohio in a mansion full of Vietnamese maids and fluffy carpets?! YOU JERK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!'

I dryly watched her freaking out and running around in circles screaming. Good, I suppose it's nice to know she liked me too, but acting like an obsessed stalker was a bit too much.

Although Karen was a pretty one.

I smiled weakly, and sighted again while Karen began to bang her head to a tree close by rapidly ('RAAH! Hate! Hate! Must-bang-head!')

'…um,' I carefully muttered, when she fell on the ground, moaning, with some growing bumps on her head, '…Catherine is my favorite chicken, Karen. You don't have to act so jealous. There's no other.'

I gave her my hand and helped her up, and she slapped my hand away as soon as she got up, blushing heavily. 'Shut up, you nerd! What are you thinking; I'm in LOVE with you or something like that?! Phu-lease!'

Short silence.

Karen bit her lower lip.

I chuckled sheepishly, rubbing my arm. 'I-I didn't say… you're in.. l-love with me…' I couldn't bring up the courage to look at her, '…b-but… I… I think I…'

'…y-yeah?' Karen's voice sounded weak and a bit fragile. This was one of the rare moments she was about to confess (and it was probably the best time for me to do so too)… and it was always interrupted by someone!

ALWAYS! Oh, cruel fate! Oh, pain! Oh, the cheap toilet paper of doom in Doug's Inn! Why did they always have to disturb me! VOICES IN MY HEAD!

But not this time! Oh no, I was prepared now! The first one who dared to bother us from confessing to each other, was going to die a horrible death involving zombie-rabbits and a golden hoe!

…and then a girl showed up.

_Jill:_

I slowly walked (almost CRAWLED) over the bright-colored brick road. MAN, I was getting depressed here! Didn't anybody think it was nice to know me better? Hm? Hm? I was getting all Bridget Jones-like here!!

Not good! Not good! I didn't want to get eaten by wolfs or Cha-Cha! Or be drunk all the time! Or be named Karen! Ugh! What girl would like to be like that?!

_Karen:_

…I don't know why, but I suddenly wanted to smack some blonde girl.

_Jill:_

Hm… I felt uncomfortable. I wonder why…

**A/n: Well… this was quite bad, wasn****'t it? Heh… I guess I was… 16 years old when I wrote this! THOSE SPELLING ERRORS! GRAMMAR! RAAAH! (and to be honest, I don't even know for sure I wrote these lines correctly).**

**Well, that's it! C ya! **


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